- Well, good morning. Good to see all of you. The group outside, by the way is the hardy bunch, right? Okay, so thanks. Obviously, I wanna welcome those that are worshiping inside. Those that are online and those of us that are outside Minnesota, we're tough people and I think there's a special reward for you in heaven. I can't find a biblical verse for that, but it's gotta be there somewhere, right? Well, what I wanna ask you to do, whether you're outside, upstairs, worshiping in our worship center or online, I want you to take your Bibles out this morning, and I want you to immediately turn to our base text for this three-week marriage series. And it's Ephesians 5. Today, I want you to locate starting in verse 21. We're gonna go back a few verses, but if we start in verse 21, you'll be right where we're gonna start this morning. And if you would like to pull up your notes and follow along, you can online. You've already been worshiping with the words and it's rockpoint.church/today. You'll be able to pull up a simple outline as we work our way through this passage today. Well, as Bob and Shannon, you obviously heard them. You didn't see it. By the way. You can watch that video online. So I know if you're worshiping outside, go online, you can watch it again. And when Shannon brought up the concept of love, here's my declarative statement this morning. Love the way it's biblically defined and marriage in and of itself is absolutely impossible. Anybody wanna agree with me on that? Okay? Some of you are like, well, I'm not really sure. I don't know. Let me tell you the statement that I wanna mention right up front this morning is that marriage and love as it is defined is absolutely impossible from a human perspective. Now I didn't say it's not good. I didn't say it's not wonderful. I just said it's impossible. Some of you listening online, worshiping upstairs, outside, you might be thinking to yourself now, wait a minute. We've been married for a number of years. We've obviously gotten down to this point. It's not totally impossible, or here's a better one. I know some friends who are not even followers of Jesus Christ, and yet they've got an okay marriage. They've got a good marriage. Well, yes, it's true. If you follow God's biblical principles, whether you're a follower of Jesus Christ, those principles work, they're truthful. You can follow biblical principles for finance and I'll guarantee you, they actually work. However, the kind of love and what Paul has been after to describe for us, this marriage that reflects the good news of Jesus Christ, that totally sets aside yourself for another is absolutely impossible, apart from what he's going to tell us today. So what I would like to do is have you look down at verse 21, and I wanna read through all the way verse 33, and then we're gonna go back and unpack this together. Starting in verse 21, he says, "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. "For the husband is the head of the wife "even as Christ is the head of the church, "his body, and is himself its Savior. "Now as the church submits to Christ, "so also wives should submit in everything "to their husbands. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church "and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, "having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, "so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, "without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, "that she might be holy and without blemish. "In the same way husbands should love their wives "as their own husbands. "He who loves his wife loves himself. "For no one ever hated his own flesh, "but nourishes and cherishes it, "just as Christ does the church, "because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother "and hold fast to his wife, "and the two shall become one flesh. "This mystery is profound, "and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. "However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, "and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Last week, we talked about how the marriage relationship and how we serve one another reflects the gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ. It's a picture of what Christ has done for us and redeemed us. We also talked about how the gospel transforms us in living color and how we die to self, how we're resurrected to new life. And that also embodies the gospel to others as we seek to love one another. However, I will say that when we practically begin to live out what he talks about here, it's impossible to do it in and of our selves. Now, he says that we ought to be submitting to one another. Now notice, he doesn't say that as we submit to one another, verse 21, and then do so within the context of the roles that are given here in this passage, he doesn't say do it only when the other person responds appropriately. Do you notice that? He doesn't say, "Hey, husbands, "only if your wife is perfect, "she's the perfect soulmate, Mrs. Right, "are you to do this." And he doesn't come to the wife and say, "Hey, you need to submit here." I mean, we'll talk about that in a second. You need to respect your husband and do all these things here only if he's a good guy, he's a godly guy. He doesn't say any of that. He doesn't say only fulfill these roles when it's easy. He says, we need to do it when it's really difficult. And that's my point. Every friendship, every relationship can apply these principles that we're talking about here today. And there does come a point, regardless of if it's a friend, but specifically in the context of a marriage relationship where life gets tough and this gets really, really difficult from a human perspective. And it's because of a word that we're gonna deal with this morning. And it's because I am at the center of it all. And oftentimes when I go into this relationship, I come face to face with the selfishness in my own soul. And he's saying, no, we've got to get past all of this. And if I really wanna do what he's suggesting here, then it's going to take a total intervention of God in my life. Wives, he's asking you to submit even when your husband does not meet your needs. And quite frankly, is a jerk, and he's saying for you wives, you need to do what he suggests here and husbands, okay? He's asking you to love your wife and sacrifice for her when perhaps she might be abstinent, manipulative and not meet your needs. I mean, if I were to get really practical this morning, we could talk about some of the specifics that you fill in the blank of what's going on in your particular relationship, because no relationship is perfect. And that is why Paul begins to move us in the direction of the one thing that is going to empower us to do what we cannot do in and of ourselves. I want you to look up at verse 21 because it begins to set the stage. If I am going to submit to another person and quite frankly, the word submit here means to serve this other person now in our respective complimentary roles that he talks about. We'll come back to that in just a second briefly. But the point is that we serve one another, even when things aren't easy. And in order to do that, he's connecting it back to what he says in verse 18. I want you to notice something here. Verse 21 is the last benefit. It is part of a long sentence that describes the results of being filled with the Holy Spirit of God. So in other words, what he's saying here is being filled with the Holy Spirit of God is essential to serving one another and to do so within the context of a marriage relationship. Now, for some of you, this might not be new. For others, it's brand new, but I will tell you everything boils down to this concept. So now what I want us to do is let's set aside marriage for a minute and let's go back to what he says in verse 18. He says there, chapter five, "And do not get drunk with wine, "for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit." He's talking about the Holy Spirit there. "Addressing one another in psalms and hymns "and Spiritual songs, singing and making melody "to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always "and for everything to God the Father "in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." So in other words, it's connected to the filling that he's talking about. So what is being filled with the Holy Spirit? In order to live the kind of life Paul has described in Ephesians, which means if you even go back up at the first couple of verses in chapter five, he says, you gotta be walking in love. You have to be imitators of God, okay? How in the world can I imitate God? He was perfect. Well, he answers that by the time he gets down to verse 18, he says, you've got to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Don't get drunk with wine, which means control, okay? You're under its control and its power and its influence. That's what he's describing there. But instead be under the control of the Holy Spirit. What's the key word there? If I'm to be under the control of the Holy Spirit, it's not something I do. The Holy Spirit fills me and yet I'm commanded to do it. So in other words, I'm commanded to be in a position where the Holy Spirit controls me. The key word there is surrender. This concept of being filled with the Holy Spirit means that I am surrendering my life to his will and his ways. It means that I'm surrendering to the control or the directing of the Holy Spirit and the empowering of the Holy Spirit to live out my life. That's what the concept means. So if you wanna be filled with the Holy Spirit, now, this doesn't mean you don't have the presence of the Holy Spirit living in you. The moment you come to know Christ as savior and Lord, you get all of the Holy Spirit. The issue though is does the Holy Spirit have all of you? And that's where the filling comes in. Filling is an ongoing continual process. There are times when I grab my life and I wanna rule it again. I'm not being filled and controlled. He's not directing my life, I am. So those are the moments when I come back before the Lord and I say, "God, would you, please forgive me "for once again, "taking the reigns of my life and controlling it? "I'm stepping aside "and I'm asking you to direct and empower my living." And that's what happens. Every couple, every person has to come to that point where they say, "God, I'm sorry for directing my life. "Would you, please as my savior and Lord, "once again, take control? "I'm yielding to you, direct my life. "Jesus, get back on the throne of my life "and then give me the power to start living the kind of life "that you've described here "and especially as I serve my mate." Only those that are filled with the Holy Spirit are able to accomplish what he's saying in marriage. In other words, the filling of the Holy Spirit is not optional for your Christian life. It's absolutely essential. That's the point. And as he directs my life, as he guides me, he's going to lead me into a deeper relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. That's why Paul says in chapter one, verse 18, he actually makes this prayer, he says that the eyes of your heart would be enlightened. Why? So that we might have power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. His point is when you surrender to the leading, the directing of the Holy Spirit, he's guiding you into a deeper relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. And as I'm growing in that relationship, I'm learning more about me, I'm learning more about him. And the result of that is this spirit of worship that he then describes starting in verse 19. All of a sudden, if I'm going to Jesus Christ and I'm spending time with him, I'm learning more about his love and his forgiveness. I'm falling in love with him more and more. I'm growing in that deep relationship. I'm understanding who he is more. And as a result of that, that brings about worship in my life. It gives me a joy in my heart. I join with others in worship together. And here's the big one. It begins to transform me so that my very life is an act of worship. That's the idea here. So that as I'm submitting to his power and influence in my life, the gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ is transforming me. It is changing me so that I can begin to reflect him to my world. The trouble is, as we saw last week, couples are oftentimes coming into marriage. You might already be there because you've been married for 5, 10, 15, 20 years. It doesn't matter. We all encounter the same stuff, but we're coming into that relationship and I know I'm gonna make a general comment here, but in many ways, as human beings, we come into a relationship and we're like two vacuums and we end up sucking the life out of one another. And Paul is really going after that here. I want you to see it. And so what he's saying here is, as we come under the filling of the Holy Spirit, as he begins to direct us, as he begins to fill our life, it produces a radical submission. That's the idea here. Paul says, look here, I want you to understand. And once you get this concept down of submitting to him, then he fills you and he gives you the ability to accomplish, what he's saying to serve one another. Now he starts with in verse 22 with wives, he says, wives, in your particular role, of submitting to your husband, which does mean authority. It means to submitting to his spiritual leadership in your life. This is only gonna happen when the Holy Spirit of God gives you the ability to pull it off. You're spending time with him. You're getting your needs met in him. And then you're able to do what he suggests here. Now he's not suggesting here, by the way, any form of dictatorship. We'll come back to that word submission in just a minute. It doesn't mean that a wife can't lead. He's talking about marriage here. It doesn't mean that a woman can't be a CEO. It doesn't mean that a woman can't lead in business community. He's talking about the church here or the home here. That's his focus. Now immediately in verse 25, what does he do, guys? He starts talking about you. Now, if you just go through and count the verses, you realize, wait a minute, he says a whole lot more to us than he does to our wives. Well, maybe we need a little extra help here. He's pointing out that you need to serve as Christ does. And the only way you're going to be able to do that is by way of the filling of the Holy Spirit as you serve and care. Now, my point this morning in the time that we have is not to detail the role of a wife in a relationship or the husband in the relationship. That's not my point this morning. I'm going for a bigger issue here, as you can see. So I'm gonna refer you to, I just finished this past week, two podcasts with a friend of mine, Dale Burke, some of you know who he is. Well, he's an author, speaker, and he's written a wonderful book on the roles of a husband and wife in a marriage relationship. It's called "Different by Design." I would encourage you, listen to that part one this week and then part two that will come out after that. And I would also encourage you to get the book. It's called "Different by Design." The second book that would be a great resource for you to unpack this practically is a book written by Robert Lewis and it's called "Rocking the Roles." I would strongly encourage you to get those. It'll really help you as you work your way through this. The gist of it though, is the husband leads as a servant leader in this relationship and the wife is responding, respecting his spiritual authority and living with him and together in that complimentary partnership, they're reflecting the image of God. But the gist of it is whether it's the wife's role or the husband's role, we're serving one another and we do so within those respective roles. That's the idea here. Now this fits any relationship because in Philippians 2 we were told to do what? Set aside ourselves for the interest of others. And the greatest example given was the example of Jesus Christ. In Romans 15:1-3, serve as Christ has served us. In Galatians 5:13, we're asked to serve, but the word is not just servant there. The word is bond servant of one another. And that means it's a responsibility. It's not just when things are going well, it's actually a responsibility. Now, let me say a little bit about this word submission. We talk about it in the podcast. Dale deals with it in his book and so does Robert Lewis. And I just touch on this briefly because it is so misunderstood in our culture today. As a matter of fact, it's raised as one of the major issues that's built up like a straw man argument that's easy to knock down. Submission does not mean that a wife submits to a husband's dictatorship. It doesn't mean that she doesn't have leadership capabilities. It doesn't mean that she doesn't have gifts and abilities that need to be utilized within that partnership, okay? It doesn't mean any of those things. And the husband's role is to be a servant leader. That means he serves first and he sets aside his desires in order for her. However, I will say this, that once you get into the marriage relationship, big picture now, and you start serving one of the biggest barriers to submitting to one another and serving in our respective roles is this issue of selfishness. Can anybody admit right now, raise your hand if you've encountered selfishness within your relationship, okay? Don't say, "Oh yeah, I saw her be selfish." No, I'm talking about, okay? Well, filling allows us to radically submit, but filling also enables me to face my selfishness and that is to serve others. It's the main barrier to serving one another. And it's like a cancer. I mean, it's just kind of wired in our DNA and it shows up a little and then it begins to grow. 1 Corinthians 13. Many of you are familiar with it. It's the chapter of love and many couples like it read at their wedding ceremony. The thing is I laugh and chuckle because when you read 1 Corinthians 13 at the beginning of a marriage, you wanna actually tell the couple, you don't have a clue what you're getting yourself into here. You have no idea what we're talking about. And the reason is 'cause right in the middle of that list of what love is, it says that love is not what? Self-seeking. What is that? Why does he say that? Because we are terribly selfish down in our souls. And this is why this issue of filling of the Holy Spirit is so critically important. It might be found when a husband complains to his wife about having to take a little time to watch the kids. I mean, anybody can relate to this, right? She's taken care of the kids, watching them all the time and you wanna go play golf, right? And yet she says, no, I need to go do this. And so you say, okay, I'll let you go do it, but she doesn't come back on time. How many guys have said, wait a minute, she's not back on time. What did that just surface inside of you? Selfishness? How about this one? You're tired. It doesn't matter whether you're the husband and wife and your husband or your wife wants to share and talk about some important things. And at first you do really well, right? You listen. But then as the conversation goes on, what typically happens? Can you relate to this? Your mind starts wandering, does it not? You start checking out of the conversation. And then if you're really willing to admit it this morning, but I won't ask for any hands, okay? You start walking physically away from the conversation. And what do you do? You move to the next room in the house. What have you just communicated? Selfishness. You're thinking about yourself. And here's a really good one. Now, again, I'm just giving practical 'cause I think oftentimes we look at the big stuff and we forget the little things that reveal what's really going on in our heart. How many of you multitask? Come on, raise your hand. Online, I can't see upstairs. Okay. Several people out here, the others are liars. They're not even paying attention to me. You multitask. You're having a conversation with someone and what do you do? You pull this little thing out and you start texting or dialing it in and I've seen it, right? You're having a conversation and let's just say, it's with your spouse or your friend and you're wait, wait, wait, I gotta do. I'm like, wait for what? I'm talking to you. Not this person. This is an interruption in this relationship. But the moment you go to this, what have you just communicated? This is more important than the person I'm talking to. Now, some people say, well, I can multitask. No, you can't. That's a lie. Don't believe it. You know, it's like Minnesota nice. Minnesota nice is nothing more than a passive aggressive behavior in my opinion. I'm glad we can have some fun this morning with this subject. Now, there's a little button on the side of your phone. Turn it off. There's another way you can just shut the whole thing down in the midst of the conversation. Why? 'Cause you set everything aside. You'd be surprised if you really put a microscope on how you act and respond to friendships and in a marriage relationship, how this begins to surface within the context of your relationship. And this is where the gospel becomes real. And the closer I get to understanding that he needs to direct and fill my life, the more I begin to understand who he is, the more I begin to fall in love with who Jesus is because of all that he has done for me. He begins to fill me and move in me and then empower me to actually do this, to say no to myself so that I can start putting others first. That's what he's asking me to do. But that only happens the closer I get to him, because then I begin to see how I'm supposed to live and then I begin to get his power to actually live it out. Now, here's I want you to do. I want you to take your fingers out this morning. I referred to this last week, but I don't have a screen up here. And for those that are inside, I can't see online, but I'm just gonna trust you're gonna do this with me. Some of you don't like to participate, but I'm gonna ask you to do it anyway. Take your fingers out and just make the best triangle you possibly can. Now, what I want you to understand is this is the image I want you to think about when it comes to your relationship. It's exactly what he's saying here. The tip or where your two index fingers come together, that is where God is at. Okay? Now to the left or the right, I don't care which way you wanna go, put you and your spouse or you and a friend. It doesn't matter, but we're talking about marriage here and you obviously see the point, right? The closer I get to God, then the closer I get to one another. And there's a reason for that. The reason is because the gospel is truly transformative. And as I turn, as I move towards him, I'm beginning to have my life changed, my attitudes changed. I'm beginning to die to self and get after the core of this selfishness inside of me so that I can begin to live like Jesus in a way that I've never done before. Why? Because love is self-seeking. And it can only happen through the power of the Holy Spirit living within me and surrendering to his directing and leading in my life. All the other practical stuff kind of flows out of that. But that piece has to be there. And it only takes one person to begin to move in that direction. I'm gonna give you a classic illustration. If you haven't read the books about his life, I would encourage you to do so. But perhaps, you know the name Louis Zamperini, or Louis Zamperini. He wrote an autobiography called the "Devil at My Heels." There's a movie about him that came out a few years ago, called "Unbroken" Laura Hillenbrand's biography is about him but he was a World War II vet, his plane was shot down. He spent 47 days in the ocean. He was captured by the Japanese. He was terribly mistreated for, I believe, it was two and a half years. There was a particular person that was so cruel, they nicknamed him Bird. And once he got out and the war was over with, he struggled with PTSD. He was married to a wonderful individual, but I'll tell you what. She had just about had it with the wound in his life that was pushing him towards selfishness, that was pushing him towards everything inside of him. He was angry, he was bitter. And she finally said, I've had enough. I'm gonna file for a divorce. But it was at that point in time that a man by the name of Billy Graham showed up in Los Angeles to launch one of his biggest crusades he's ever had. And she ended up going to that tent meeting and she gave her life to Jesus Christ. And as a result of that, she came back and said, I'm not gonna seek a divorce anymore. And she began to ask him to come and listen to this speaker so that he could have his life changed and transformed. And that core selfishness that was driving him towards trying to find a healing point to that human need, that wound in his life and to get rid of the anger and the bitterness and all that stuff that had built up inside of him. Finally, he decided to go, and it didn't happen the first night, but the next time he went, he finally heard the message he needed to change him from the inside out, the gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ. And as he was changed, so was his marriage. Now that's a dramatic illustration. And maybe in your situation, you don't have that. Maybe it's gonna take longer. Maybe the weeks have turned into months and years. Maybe you've given your life to Jesus Christ, but your spouse hasn't yet. And maybe it's gonna take some time where you gather with other couples that can walk with you and maybe contact us so that we can put you in touch with individuals, but it's only in pursuing the Lord Jesus Christ and following him that you're gonnna have what you need to continue to walk down that road. And we could bring up here, whether it's Bob and Shannon, Maxner, you'll watch their testimony or the Zamperinis, or probably 20, 30, 40 other people we could bring up here immediately to talk to you about how Jesus Christ has changed their life and changed their marriage. And it's because they finally began to put him at the center, allow him to direct their life and give him the things that they need to continue to walk down that road. And my encouragement to many of you who are struggling right now, don't go down the easy path of divorce so quickly. Stay in the game because there is grace and there is an ability to get where you've never gone before. And what you're dealing with, the Lord puts you in this situation, is that core selfishness that is right there deep inside of you. And it's not going to be possible without the intervention of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit in your life. Now, I want you to see one more thing, because all of this is fueled by one key nugget that is given in verse 21. If you'll go back up there, you'll see it. He says submitting to one another. Notice this phrase, out of reverence for Christ. In other words, that is the fuel that will continue to feed your soul so that you're able to actually do what he says. And it really coincides. It goes right along with this filling. It's one of the results of being filled with the Holy Spirit and what you need in your life is like your car needs to keep traveling down this journey. You gotta go to the gas station once in a while and get some gas in that car. What he's after here is you've got to go back to the source and get fueled with the one source that is not only gonna fill your soul, but enable you to actually accomplish what you can. And it's all connected into this idea of reverence for Christ. Now, reverence is also equivalent to another biblical word. It's the word fear. You'll find it in the Old Testament. You'll find it in the New Testament. The word fear biblically doesn't mean I'm running from God. It means I'm running towards God. And it means this. It means that as I run towards him out of awe and reverence, I'm learning more about him. I'm discovering more about myself. And as the Holy Spirit begins to direct my life, as the Holy Spirit begins to move in my life. It's the Holy Spirit that begins to teach me more about who he is. As I spend time in his word, it's the Spirit of God that begins to open my eyes to see how wonderful this savior is that I worship. And as I spend more time with him, it's the Spirit of God that brings me into a state of awe and reverence for who he is. And out of that deep abiding relationship, I then find the ability to submit to another person, to serve that person. Why is that the case? Because I've already submitted my life to Jesus Christ. I've tasted his grace. I've already said I'm in this game to serve you and let you direct my life. And it's out of this unbelievable input into my life of his love and grace that I am now having the desire and the motivation to please him and to walk with him. You see, the more time I spend with him, two things begin to happen. Number one, I have my soul filled, so that I can actually serve someone who doesn't reciprocate it. I can actually serve someone in deep, difficult times, even when it's not reciprocated. And as I spend time with him, I realize how much I desire to please him, even when the journey is long and it's difficult. And as I spend time with him, I'm allowing the gospel to change me and transform me so that I can surrender my life to his leading and control. And that's why the filling actually fuels, it actually is fueled by my reverence for Jesus Christ. You know, if you're not serving your spouse right now, there's probably one of two possibilities. And this is where we're gonna land the plane this morning. There's probably one of two possibilities. Perhaps you've never committed your life to Jesus Christ. You might be someone who's come to church. You come to Rockpoint, hey, I believe in God. I came from this other situation, but I'm here today, but you've never come to that point in your life where you've said, "Jesus, I want you to be my Lord and my savior. "I'm gonna to commit my life to you. "I'm gonna do exactly what was described "by the Louis Zamperini story." That happens in a moment in time. I'm gonna give you a chance to do it in just a second, where you finally say, "God, I'm a sinner and I need a savior. "And I believe Jesus died for me and rose from the grave. "And I'm turning you and I'm trusting in you "for forgiveness and everlasting life." That might be step one. The second issue though is you might still be dealing with this issue of fighting for the control of your life and your marriage. And I would say that these two decisions have to be central to everything you do in your marriage relationship. We can talk about communication, we can talk about roles. We can talk about conflict. We can talk about all the other stuff of marriage, but it has to come back to these central issues. And perhaps you've never taken the time to say, you know what? I've been directing my life. I'm a believer, I believe Jesus died on the cross for my sin, but I've never really turned over the control of my life and my marriage. That might be what you need to do today. That might be the next step for you online or upstairs. And so would you close your eyes and would you bow your heads this morning? If you have come to this day and in one of those two issues is not happening and you're struggling with selfishness, you're struggling with stuff inside of you, you know your marriage is not where it needs to be. Yes, you've already determined you're gonna contact us so we can help you with a couple that we'll walk alongside of you, but you know, you're struggling with some stuff right now. Well, you really have one of two choices or maybe it's both this morning. But the first one is this. If you have never come to that moment in your life, where you have acknowledged in your heart of hearts, that you are a sinner and you need a savior, this is that moment for you. And in your own words, you can say, Lord Jesus, I believe I am a sinner. And I believe that you, Lord Jesus, were the son of God who died on the cross for my sin and rose from the grave. And so now I am repenting and turning from my sin and myself. That's the key word. Self is selfishness. And I am turning to you, Lord Jesus, and I'm trusting in you as my savior, who died for my sin and rose from the grave. Please forgive me. Please give me everlasting life. And please help me to live the life you want me to live. If you made that choice, would you, please let us know we wanna help you? But there's another group this morning, still eyes closed. Nobody looking around. Maybe you've never surrendered the directing of your life. You made that choice, but you've gotten off track. Maybe here's your prayer this morning. God I am sorry for directing my life. And right now I confess before you as my Lord and savior the selfishness in my soul. And I am now asking that, father, through your Holy Spirit, you would begin to direct my life, take control of my life and give me the power to live the kind of life in my marriage that you've asked me to live. Fill me with your Spirit and guide me now in Jesus' name. Amen.